NITSA

NEVER FORGET THE MEMORIES YOU NEVER LIVED    

I COULD NOT IMAGINE WHAT WAS ON THE OTHER SIDE. MY GRANDMOTHER SPOKE OF HER BEAUTIFUL LILIES AND ROSES AS SHE TRIED TO CONTAIN HER CRYING. HER NEW, OLD LIVING ROOM WITH THE LONG THROWS COVERING THE SOFAS AND ARMCHAIRS AS IF TO PROTECT THEM. AS IF THEY ARE BRAND NEW. WHO IS GOING TO PROTECT HER? BUT THEY ARE OLD. AND SHE IS OLD TOO. SHE IS SITTING IN THE CORNER ON OF THE ARMCHAIRS, WITH HER STATURE ALMOST FROZEN BUT I CAN STILL SEE IN HER EYES HOW PROUD SHE IS TO BE A NOTICEABLE PRESENCE IN THE ROOM. SHE KNOWS SHE STANDS OUT. RED HAIR AND DUO CHROME NAIL POLISH, AND A SET OF FIERY EYES. ON HER FINGERS HER WEDDING RING, ALONG WITH A DIAMOND CUT RUBY. AND WITH HER SMILE, SHE CONFIRMS IT. SHE IS IN CONTROL OF HER OLD, NEW LIVING ROOM.  THE ROOM SMELLS OF FRIENDLY DUST, IT IS OLD. I GUESS IT IS QUITE UNCERTAIN WHEN THINGS BECAME FAMILIAR AND OLD TO HER. WHEN DID THINGS REACH A MATURITY WITHIN HER?, WHEN DID THE EVIL SETTLE IN ? I SUPPOSE I WILL NEVER KNOW. FOR SHE DOES NOT LIKE TO THINK OF HER OLD HOUSE, HER OLD OLD HOUSE, THE OTHER HOUSE THAT SHE BUILT AND LEFT BEHIND. OH GRANDMA, I PROMISE NOT TO FORGET THE THING THAT I NEVER REALLY KNOW. I PROMISE TO PROMISE TO TREASURE AND PROTECT AND NEVER EVER FORGET THE MEMORIES I NEVER LIVED.

WHO IS GOING TO PROTECT THE MEMORIES OF THE NOW

HIDDEN IN PLAIN SIGHT IS OUR DEMOCRACY SANEM. HERE IN PLAIN SIGHT AND IF I BELIEVE IN IT REALLY REALLY HARD, I CAN ALMOST SEE IT GROWING FROM THOSE GOLD SUN KISSED FIELDS OF WHEAT. WITH A SILLY SYMBOL AS THE PIGEON THAT WE BOTH STEREOTYPED AND CLASSIFIED AS THE MESSENGER OF PEACE. HOW SILLY.  WE SHOULD HAVE PUT A TURTLE ON OUR FLAG FROM THE VERY BEGINNING. BECAUSE HOME IS HERE AND NOWHERE, HOME IS WITH US JUST LIKE THE TURTLE. AND LOOK, OFF SHE GOES NOW, SLOWLY BUT SURELY, EVER SLOWER THAN EVER, OUR DEMOCRACY IS HALF SWIMMING HALF DROWNING. I CLOSE MY EYES AND THE FUTURE IS NOW AND ALL OF THOSE COOL THINGS THAT I ONCE IMAGINED. OH, HOW EXCITING THOSE BORING AND MUNDANE THINGS ARE. AND I WANT TO SEE THEM. I WANT TO SEE THE STAMP ON THE LETTERS AND A NEW EMBLEM AND A NEW FLAG THAT PEOPLE WILL BE PROUD OF. AND AN IDENTITY THAT IS CONCRETE AND UNSHAKABLE. AND I IMAGINE IT. ROTATING IN A GIF IN A WEBSITE OUR NEW EMBLEM ALMOST LIKE A HOLOGRAPHIC GHOST OF THE 90S. AND IT GIVES ME CHILLS.  AND I WANT TO PROTECT THE MEMORIES OF OUR ANCESTORS AND FIGHT FOR WHAT THEY THINK IS RIGHTEOUS BUT WHO IS GOING TO FIGHT FOR MY FUTURE? WHO IS GOING TO PROTECT, THE MEMORIES OF THE NOW?    

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4/09/2019